


Babe, Cuchura, the Captain, and Tennille

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Friendship, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 18:06:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6576964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“The cuteness is making me queasy.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Babe, Cuchura, the Captain, and Tennille

“It’s either going to be The Beresford or 478. The Beresford is winning out because Trevor is in love with the roof deck. I would prefer to have our own balcony, which you can at 478. The condo we saw last weekend was nice.”

“The condos there are at least $2 million cheaper than The Beresford.” Olivia drank some wine. “But I guess when you're ready to spend $6 million that doesn’t really matter.”

“It matters.” Rafael nodded.

“Do you have $6 million dollars? Is it polite to ask you if you have $6 million dollars?”

“I don't know if it’s polite to ask,” Rafael said. “But the answer is fuck no, I don’t have $6 million dollars. But my condo is on the market price at an underwhelming $5 million. It’s worth at least $6.5 according to two different appraisers. Trevor’s is going for $3 and I think he might get a buyer before me because Chelsea is hipper than Central Park West. I mean, c'mon, Patti Scialfa wrote an album about it.”

“Her entire album isn't about Chelsea, but I hear you. If Central Park West isn't hip then why do you want to live there?”

“Because I'm an unrepentant snob who has worked his whole life for it, that’s why. And I'm not hip. Trevor is hip, I am not.”

“You're a little hip.” Olivia said.

“You don’t have to butter me up.” Rafael said. “I already love you.”

“So, do you want 478 or the Beresford?” she asked.

“478. It’s a better price, we can have a balcony and even an extra bedroom and still not go above the asking price for a two bedroom at the Beresford. But they have beautiful windows and a roof deck. In the end we may have to Rochambeau for it.”

“You guys are living very well.”

“You don’t do too bad yourself, Lieutenant.”

“Oh please. I share my space and cringe every time the rent bill comes. I can afford it but it boggles my mind that a space should cost so much. And I want Noah to have some outside room to run free. Is there anywhere left in Manhattan with outside room?”

“Trevor’s place has some. Can you scratch up $3 million dollars?”

“Yeah, I’ll just call my accountant in the morning. He’ll get right on that. Do you want to order?”

“Well I was waiting for Trevor.” Rafael looked at his phone. There were no texts or missed calls. Trevor should've been there almost 20 minutes ago and he prided himself on being on time for everything. That drove Rafael crazy. “He may have to gotten held over in court or in a meeting. I picked someplace close to his office not even realizing that he may have been in the East Village today in court.”

“The East Village?” Liv raised an eyebrow.

“He's smack in the middle of a custody case. His client is divorcing and the three children are heiresses and there is a custody battle which is also a battle for old money that Trevor has been in some kind of control of for almost a decade. The wife thinks the husband wants custody so he can really have unfettered access to the bank accounts for him and his girlfriend.”

“I thought the point of being a corporate shark was not to have to deal with those kinds of problems.”

“Those kinds of problems make the world go round.” Rafael said. “Trevor’s making hundreds of dollars an hour to play babysitter and mediator. Too bad the stress is making his temples go gray.” He picked up his phone. “Call Cuchura.”

“Oh my god, you have him in your phone as sweetheart.” Liv made a face as she finished her wine. She would wait for dinner before having another glass. “The cuteness is making me queasy.”

“Shit, it’s going to voicemail. What do you have Ed in your phone as?” Rafael asked, holding up his finger before she could answer. “Hey there, I hope you didn’t forget that we’re meeting a Bleu Bleu tonight. Liv and I are here and we’re looking for you. Don’t make me worry about you, cuchura. See you soon, love you, bye.”

“Ed is in my phone as The Captain. For me it was a bit of an ode to The Sound of Music, and his promotion. But he put me in his phone as Tennille and we laughed so hard about it, it just stuck.”

“I'm getting to know Ed better but I don't know, I just don’t see him laughing with wild abandon.”

“He's reserved around people, unless he knows you extremely well. He's never reserved around his kids or his dad or stepmom. He's just, well he's a reserved guy. But we laugh together all the time. Sometimes I laugh just thinking about him laughing.”

“That’s love.” Rafael said.

“Nice work if you can get it.”

“I never asked, and I'm not even sure if I would understand, but a part of me is dying to know how you guys went from Itchy and Scratchy to The Captain and Tennille.”

“I was going to say that it wasn’t as bad as Itchy and Scratchy.” Liv said. “But I would be lying through my teeth. It’s a long story but not an uninteresting one. At least not from my point of view.”

“Mine either.” Rafael said. “I'm fascinated and I don’t even know what happened yet.”

“You know what's happening now…that’s why you're fascinated.”

“Is the sex good?”

“Hi, hi. I'm sorry I'm late.”

Before Liv could answer, Trevor was walking in their direction. He looked tired but still wore a friendly smile, which made his handsome face more handsome.

“Hey, I just called you.” Rafael stood from his chair and kissed Trevor when he approached. “You can disregard the message.”

“Will do. Hey Liv.” Trevor kissed her cheek. “You look good.”

“Thanks. You look tired.”

“This past week has been insane. Court and mediations and of course its tax crunch time. I'm no tax attorney but I handle family trusts and my partners and CPA guy are busy as hell and there are meetings and wires to the Grand Caymans, not my idea, and this time of year from January to early April makes you want to wander out into 42nd Street traffic. I also need a shave because I'm starting to look like someone’s brother’s overgrown frat boy best friend.”

“I never, ever wanted to fuck any of my brother’s friends.” Rafael said as Trevor sat down at the table. “So that’s not quite true.”

“I just wanted to fuck some of my dad’s friends. Oops,” Trevor made a face. “Did I just say that out loud?”

“You did.” Liv smiled and nodded.

Trevor grinned and looked at the menu. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, this wasn’t one of their usual haunts, but when the server came over to check he ordered a gin and tonic with the best gin they had. No one needed house gin after the day he had.

“So what were we talking about?”

“Liv was just going to tell me how sex with Ed is.” Rafael replied.

“She was? I'm listening.”

“I wasn’t.” Liv shook her head. “I was going to avoid the question like the clap.”

“Oh c'mon, it’s just us.” Rafael said. “Don’t be shy.”

“I thought Ed was going to join us tonight.” Trevor said.

“Lucy has been feeling under the weather so he decided to relieve her and is on Noah duty.”

“He likes us right?” Trevor asked.

“How do you mean?” she countered.

“Well I don’t know, he has that haircut.”

“What haircut?” Liv was confused.

“That ‘I don’t like gay people’ haircut.” 

“Bisexuals.” Rafael corrected.

“Non-straight people.” Trevor clarified. “The ‘I don’t like non-straight people’ haircut.”

“No, it’s mostly the ‘I'm losing my hair but I'm a man of ego and pride’ haircut.” Liv said. “Like Bruce Willis.”

“Oh God,” Rafael’s tone was solemn. “His got so bad toward the end and he just wouldn’t let go. I would scream at him every time I saw him on TV.”

“I was so mad at him for the longest time.” Trevor shook his head.

“So Ed is not afraid of non-straight people. He likes you guys and actually enjoys having “couples” friends. This is something a bit new for him. Everything is fine, I promise.”

“Speaking of Ed…” Rafael looked at his best friend.

“Stop it.”

“I have to admit,” Trevor said. “I kinda want to know. Not too many details but a few. C'mon, you're amongst friends here.”

“I think we should get ready to order.” Liv said. “The server is circling, and I'm starving.”

***

“I talked to Celia today.” Rafael said. He and Trevor were walking down the street, deciding to walk the mile between the restaurant and Rafael’s condo. Though March nights could still be chilly, it wasn’t too late and it was beautiful out. Rafael decided to have a cigarette after that hearty meal and Trevor didn’t object so that was a good thing. “She says the 478 condo is ours if we want it and we have five days to decide. It’s still going to take a few months for the deal to go through and to escrow.”

“How many square feet is it?” Trevor asked.

“1750 square feet plus a 45 square foot balcony.”

“I don’t like the windows.”

“I know it wasn’t perfect but it’s only $3.2 million. We’ll be able to walk away with something for us. If we go for The Beresford we’re getting just a little more room for nearly $3 million more dollars.”

“But we’re going to live there for the next 25 years, Rafi. The windows are amazing; they have a roof deck.”

“Yes, and its two bedrooms with two baths. The condo at 478 is 3 bedrooms with 2 and a half baths and a balcony. There’s also a working fireplace that we would never use but is quite aesthetically pleasing. It’s not a bad second choice. Plus remember, The Beresford has the condo association from hell.”

“There is that.” Trevor made a face. “I don’t need to be interviewed like I'm trying to be the next Pope. But this is going to be home, I need to love it.”

“You loved 478.”

“I liked it. How do you feel about it? I'm not talking about financials, we can always work that out. I'm talking about as our home for the next quarter century.”

“The windows are too small.” Rafael replied. “I love the balcony but the bedrooms are like matchbook size. The fireplace is lovely but I'm not even sure there is enough closet space for my clothes.”

“So why are we considering it?”

“Because as snobby as I am, I'm struggling with the idea of paying that much money for a living space. It’s making my heart hurt, cuchura. My condo was free. That doesn’t make it better, it’s just true.” 

“Well I have an idea then.”

“I'm all ears.”

“We’ll just stay there. It’s The Langham after all, which is the third most desirable address in the city. I love your condo, it’s spacious and airy and the windows are fabulous. There’s no balcony but I can get over it every night I look at the view. Then you don’t have to sell for a lower bid, which I thought was ridiculous anyway. I can sell my place and we’ll plan our retirement on that money. It’s ridiculous to give up a free condo.”

“I thought you wanted a place that was ours.” Rafael dropped the cigarette and stubbed it out with his shoe.

“If you and I are there then it is ours.” Trevor reasoned.

“And you don’t mind…it was a gift from a wealthy benefactor. I was a kept man.”

“I don’t care about what happened a quarter century in the past, babe. I'm thinking of a quarter century into the future. I'm also thinking about what photography I want on the walls and what color to paint the bathroom.”

“We can get a new living room set and a sleep number bed.” Rafael said.

“Yes.” Trevor nodded and laughed. “Because sometimes you snore.”

“I don’t.”

“You do…sometimes.”

“That’s not very sexy is it?” Rafael asked.

“No, but you're about 97.4% sexy so there had to be something.” 

“I love you, Trevor.” He kissed his hand as they walked down the street.

“I love you too.”

“So you're willing to sell your condo and move into mine?”

“Considering all the other options we were looking at, it’s the most economically feasible. And it’s also going to cause the least amount of stress. There shouldn’t be such stress as we look forward to spending the rest of our lives together.”

Rafael was looking forward to it. Almost every morning he woke up with a smile on his face. When he woke in bed with Trevor that smile was even bigger. They had a great life and were a good couple. They had “couples” friends and people in their lives that encouraged them as individuals and in their relationship. 

This condo selling-buying cycle had caused plenty of strife. They weren't fighting but there was tension. Rafael didn’t like tension. His relationship with Trevor, his marriage to Trevor, was going to be his happy place. Now they would have an actual address where it was housed.

“Also, when we’re all settled in and married, we’ll get Blanche a doggy sibling.”

“Are you tired of being ignored?” Rafael asked smirking.

“A little bit. But I bought her for you and she adores her daddy. I can't be upset about that. Hopefully our second dog will like me just a little bit more though.”

“If someone would've ever told me that someday I'd be engaged with a dog and making a condo ‘ours’, I would've never believed them.”

“I'm your dream come true.” Trevor looked at him and smiled.

“You are, cuchura. You really are.”

***


End file.
